Spicing Up the Big Screen
Spice Girls Add New Showcase For 'Talents'
by Cael O'Maolain - Rogue Market Correspondent
Cannes, May 13 - At an unusual press conference yesterday, The Spice Girls, Britain's female super-group, announced the production of their newest endeavour, an appearance on the big screen. Bedecked in head scarves and sunglasses, the group resembled a troupe of thirties and forties actresses. They, however, took charge of a press conference that has been known to reduce lesser spirits to groveling. On one occasion they even had the whole room doing a Mexican wave.
The film, which has yet to be named, will begin filming in London sometime in June. It will be a story of five days in the life of the steamy band. Richard Grant, the group's manager, denied that it would be a blatant rip-off of the Beatles' Hard Day's Night, with simply more navels and cleavage. "Just because we have been called the 90's version of The Village People, doesn't mean that we don't have any original ideas of our own," he said. Mr. Grant, however, declined to provide an example of such an idea.
The band, which has often been accused of lip-synching, seemed to conduct the press conference using their own voices. Asked if there was a specific plot for the movie, "Ginger Spice" Geri answered, "It is about our inner and outer struggles." Film analysts took that to mean the profound struggle of wriggling into tight jeans.
Mel B. was asked if she was afraid of making a fool of herself by acting. "We know we are not perfect but we will give it our best shot, " she said "So far we have been able to convince music fans that we can sing. Lack of acting skill didn't hold back Madonna or Sly Stallone. And lack of governing experience didn't stop our new Prime Minister, ... what's his name?"
Prime Minister Tony Blair, through a spokesman, replied, "Only candidates care about the names of the Spice Girls. We're in now. And they should just shut up and pay their taxes."
Rogue Market trading in the Spice Girls has been moderate lately after a feverish rally that saw the stock break the 500.00 mark. Today they traded in the mid 400 range, down 10% from their peak. With the announcement of their new movie, the Girls should continue to rally. Shares in Mr. Tony Blair continued their slow rise.