Gingrich Borrows Ethics Payment
Political Capital Generates Personal Loan
by Cael O'Maolain - Rogue Market Correspondent
WASHINGTON, April 21 - In a surprise move Thursday, House Speaker Newt Gingrich announced that he has been given a loan of $300,000 by former Republican Presidential Candidate Bob Dole to repay his fine for violation of Ethics Rules. "As a person of limited means, I have arranged to borrow money from Bob Dole, a close personal friend of impeccable integrity," Mr. Gingrich stated to the press, then added, "I will personally pay it back."
This news comes after Mr. Gingrich was apparently turned down for loans by more traditional sources, that is to say the governments of China, Taiwan, Indonesia and Thailand. It also follows recent allegations from unreliable sources in Washington of seeing Mr. Gingrich in private meetings with a small delegation of Chinese Nationals. One observer, claiming to be within earshot of the meeting, reported that the Chinese group informed Mr.Gingrich that their money supply was depleted by individuals of the Democratic National Committee. It was then implied that the Speaker had best look to other avenues for selling favors.
Feelings on Capitol Hill are mixed as Gingrich's Republican peers laud his decision to borrow the money while Democrats condemn the action as a 'lobbyist' payment for lying to congress. As a result, the market has stayed relatively even on the Speaker's stock while Mr. Dole's stock has seen a small rise, both with relatively weak trading. This trend may continue as both Democrats and Republicans remain vehemently divided on the issue.
Libby Dole could not be reached for comment, but was reportedly curious about the nature of the Speaker's close personal friendship with her husband.