Israeli Gas Crisis
by Cael O'Maolain
Tel Aviv - Israeli security chiefs have warned Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of a possibly very gloomy future. The joint chiefs presented Mr. Netanyahu an assesment of rapidly deteriorating safety and rising fears of all out war. Many points were addressed in the statement including such issues as Yassir Arafat's escalating age and uncertainties of successive leadership to questions about Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's activities and health.
Among the greatest fears is the Iranian push for a long range missle program. Within a few years Iran could have the ability to launch chemical and biological weapons against their opponents. The major immediate recommendation of the security chiefs was for the Israeli government to invest some 50 million shekels ($16M) to upgrade their supply of civilian gas masks.
The Israeli Department of Finance countered with a proposal designed to save millions of shekels. In their proposal the government would invite Michael Jackson to perform a free benefit concert in Israel and then offer to buy a large supply of the performers personal stock of masks. "Not only will we have free entertainment but we could also get designer gas masks!" the Minister of Finance touted. Prime Minister Netanyahu is said to have responded favorably to the proposal.
The Rogue Market has seen little trading in any Middle Eastern stocks. Benjamin Netanyahu, Yassir Arafat and Saddam Hussein have all held steady with very limited trading. Maybe the threat of all out war will boost trading to an explosive level.